Diploma in Computing Rodney....

As part of her Social Work degree management is required to do something called the European Computer Driving Licence.  

Now, I am going to have to be carefull what I say here. Management is perhaps not the greatest person with computers. In fact if the Israelis wanted to really screw up Irans computer in it's nuclear reactor, no need to spirit in a virus on a data stick. Put a white coat on the management and get her to a keyboard, everything for miles would glow in the dark within minutes....

This is one of these automated online courses with the wonderful patronising annoying electronic voice.

It dosn't have usefull responses like:

"My, you really screwed that up didn't you?"

or

"Are you having a laugh?"

but rather tells you

"Well done you succeeded" in a patronising tone that would quite frankly have me hunting down the lump hammer to exact revenge.

Management is busy, hell she has even pinched the mouse off my laptop, the one on the keyboard does not seem to be recognised.

So tonight she is doing power point; lists have been inserted and taken away, format's altered and layouts changed.

This has involved much harrumphing, a selection of puzzled facial expressions and of course profanity. I did think for a moment during  "cut and paste" the text would actually be moved by the laptop going out of the window.

But we got there in the end, we are now changing the font and doing something with the paragraphing.

This is turning dangerous, she is going funny colours, lives might be lost...

The cats know when things are dangerous, deimund and  Da Man have gone into hiding.....  

But at the end of this she will have a Diploma in Computing - just like Rodney Trotter.

Next week the three wheel van.

R