Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Yesterday was yesterday, today is today

In this game it's weird how fast things change.

Yesterday everything looked like it was going one way.

Today, himself took himself off to see housing. I'm not sure what he was expecting, I suspect he thought he could move and have less expectations placed on him than he has here. Maybe he has been reading too much Daily Mail and UKIP propaganda. Whatever they offered him, seems like doing what he had to do to stay was the better option.  

He came from the housing office and sorted himself out some volunteer work within the hour and he has now got a progression course for next academic year in college.

Whether  this will keep the leaving care team happy, after all they were looking at a big drop in the cost of supporting him, remains to be seen.

The emails I sent might be their worst case outcome - have to carry on supporting him. 



Fin de siecle

20 - 7 isn't a big number. Well not when you first look at it. Make it 20 years take away 7 when those 20 years are your whole life then living somewhere from 7 is a big bit of your life. Big D arrived at age 7 and he is now 20. Long time.

We have watched him grow, stood there with him through the tough times, been there for the fun times, watched him grow. Of course with all kids there comes a point where they have to make that big leap into the unknown and a less than certain future. Branwen went 3 years ago, off to university announcing she was off forever. That's why she has just moved back into her bedroom expending lots of effort on shelves and constructing a monster cabin bed which means she does not always sleep with her nose against the ceiling and she can sit up in bed providing she is under the attic hatch at the time....

I digress, the last few years have been tough, D is determined to hold on to childhood. Others have holiday jobs, he has holidays. He is a determined Peter Pan trawling the college list of introductory courses. So far he has tried carpentry (twice) countryside management and bricklaying. None of them leading to any work, well they might have except he has been avoiding jobs.

Xmas was a bit of a watershed. It's a time for everyone to give and to take, everyone gave and D took. 

It was time for a bit of tough love and way back in January his worker came down, we had a meeting setting out    an agenda for change, everyone had something to do, everyone did their something except D.

He has taken to going out or hiding in his room. It's so sad when you have invested a lot in someone to see that wasted. Wasted, there's a word, he seems to do that too. It really is watching someone you spent a lot of time trying to help unravelling.

It would be really easy if he was just bone idle but no he has worked really hard at a music festival and, when the builders here needed a labourer he pitched in and worked hard for three weeks. He loved being paid, he liked the money. But when it comes to getting a regular job there is a cog not yet in place, he isn't ready. 

This week a lot of airtime has been given to the problems over young people not being taken into care when they should be. There is a back story too of serial taking kids into care when helping their parents was what was needed.

The other end of the story is when the care industry has to own the results of it's serial failures to meet needs. The young person gets to 20 and they have none of the skills they need. The response apparently is to dump them into the world and walk away. 

In a few years time when he is a hopeless parent the system will be there to take his children away.....



Monday, 16 June 2014

Time of our lives

Today is of course the day of the fathers.

Which is great. No one son gave me a model Bedford, no two daughter bought me a set of bits for my cordless that she is borrowing to put up shelves in her room, mainly i suspect because she needs them.

No one daughter phoned me from the festival she is at to say she loves her daddy.

That was nice as, this week has been a bit of a quiet one.

Monday was a review meeting with social services where we got offered a bit basically to keep us quiet I suspect.

Tuesday was a meeting in university could be some work from that, then another meeting straight after - 120 mile round trip. Home and pick up Bethan then a mad run for Plymouth and ferry. Another 250 miles.

Some roadworks, Bethan great company but tired. On to the ship and a lovely old night, decent meal and off to an early night.

Next morning and a tough old one from Roscoff to Lanvallay .  A great time with Peter and Mina then truck up and off to our house. Another 180 miles.

Of course, I haven't mentioned the management who bought a new bed settee for the house.

This was no way going in through the door so window it was then.  Heavy? Did we mention heavy?  It weighed a lot and it went in with much heaving and swearing through the front window just after it's pre decessor went out the back one.

Much running round and shopping then a walk into town for a crepe or 4.

Morning and a drive up to Roscoff, Brittany ferries really wanted me to know they had rescheduled the departure time for trip home. 1 email 3 texts and a phone call!  The run up to Roscoff 80 miles was pretty uneventful and being in Brittany we popped into the Vietnamese for lunch.

On the appointed time, the ship sailed and we settled to a calm sea crossing with the van parked virtually touching the bow door. I don't know how it happens but whenever we do the crossing from Plymouth to Roscoff we always seem to end up being one of the first off the ship.

This whole break had gone well suspiciously well, time to make things more normal. Off the ferry and quickly through immigration - all well with the world. Then the A38 or  rather not the A 38, it was closed for repairs so there followed an epic diversion across country. Still that was a lot of Devon visited I had never seen before, and the M5. Not to be outdone the people in charge of the M5 joined in, closing several lanes so they could do work on them during the day. At night of course all was quiet, just the average speed cameras to keep everyone at a steady 50 for mile after mile.

Eventually gone midnight I mads it home, could have been quite tricky, the last few miles I was very sleepy. That does not bear thinking about, last time i fell asleep at the wheel was the Olympics.