Attempted murder.....

I have narrowly survived an attempt on my life.

No not the sort of thing with knives coming at you on dark nights or axes silently taking you from behind, this was murder more subtle.

"Let's go for a walk" she said.

Thinking it was better than sitting here dwelling on the frozen up pipes and waterless house I got the camera and off we went.

Now there were two routes on offer, one was a pleasant little valley bottom ramble with a pub at the end.

The other, a vertical ascent up a mountain then back down again with errrh a pub at the end.


Trouble is though only one of those pubs serves draught bass from the barrel; mountain climb it was.

I had not realised what her real plans were when we parked the car at the bottom of the hill and the management was gone like a goat up the mountain leaving me to wheeze stagger and drag myself along with plenty of pauses to take photos of the magnificent scenery.

She was trying to give me a heart attack I am sure and in a place where the mobile phone would not work, to guarantee exanguination before help could arrive.

Her plan though was doomed to fail and I survived.

Sold one of my axes whilst I was in the pub too.

Then home to da man and sid having a huge sort out in the living room!!!!