Friday 21 September 2007

Welcome to festering UK

Now today has been one of those interesting ones.

This morning a viewing in which we seemed to do OK me and the lady from the estate agents.

Then this afternoon was penciled in as and exciting chance to visit Tesco,s so that the mistress of all we owe money could try and fill the screaming void of our larder.

But no, as so often happens in fostering all that changed with a knock on the door.

It was our link worker to announce trips anywhere were being canceled for the forseable immediate future.

To Understand the tale we need to go back into the summer. At the end of our "holiday" (apparently going away and taking your work with you is a holiday if you are a foster carer)

We had a 18 hour disaster day getting home arriving home eventually at about 1 am

Now anyway in the morning I lit the AGA stove and mid morning it went into core meltdown and the started belching fine black ash into the kitchen. This is turn landed on the plates and stuff from dinner.

Meanwhiles other problems beckoned, a veritable off licence had to be removed from the Van and a fair amount of mud was tramped into the house getting it in.

Which paled into insignificance when I turned on the hot water tap and a tiny trickle dribbled out. It was a matter of a few hours to remove two washing machines the tumble drier a cupboard and work surface to get at the boiler.

Management was feeling things a bit and retired for an hour while I tried to sort the boiler. We had after all had a 16 hour day the day before and had arrived home at 1 AM.

The house itself had of course seen no attention in the month we were away and to add to the ambiance one of the kids cleaned the rabbit hutch out in the bath!!

Before we left we had of course packed lots of the electronics away on instructions of the estate agents, so there was a dearth of play stations and a poverty of DVD's.

No one son had been away for a month before we came home and so his bed was unmade and bare. Arriving home at 1 am he had simply crashed in a sleeping bag.

I include all of this to paint the picture for the tale that is about to unfold.

Now selling our house cannot be done without viewings and this bunch of batty wimin came down the drive.

This tribe had been told we were just home and should not be disturbed but they could drive past the top of the drive which they took as their invitation to knock the door, just after lunch.

Having knocked the door I brought them in and sleepwalked them round the building site and war zone. They had not been there for two long before I worked out they were potless but continued out of courtesy.

So anyway off they went and I forgot about them.

They didn't forget about me though

No sir eeeeee.

One of them was a social worker, someone had taught her to type and type she did.

2 1/2 pages detailing every perceived in farction known to wimin and a few more on top too.

So this morning down the drive came a SW to investigate

To be fair our link worker was brilliant.

The situation though soon deteriorated into pure comedy.

Now SW knew we had just landed after a month, I told her that.

Her first comment, though the windows looked unwashed, quite right, we had not been there for a month, arrived back that morning.

The place had not been vaccumed, true, now lets see, also about a month in fact.

The toilets had not been cleaned - now let me see.......

There did not seem to be anything much for teenies to do, pretty true it was all in boxes, well except the rugby pitch I have mowed in one of the fields. Must have missed that, easily done...

And the mini motos in the room she looked at. Must have missed that - easily done too.

What about half a dozen cycles outside - yes yes easily missed.

There was an off licence in the living room; I had just got back from France and friends had yet to collect their "presants". Told her that at the time
.
There was an unmade bed in a room - that was not occupied at the time.

There was evidence of unwashed dishes, well, kind of hard when the hot water was off.

The hot water was off, so why did she think all the appliances were everywhere, boiler covers off, tools on the floor; did one think I was playing tiddley winks?

There were water pipes and wires, well it kinda helps if you want water and power.

The house was remote, well listen lady, this is the country, you chose to come and see it because it was remote....

There was no mains water, I wonder which does she buy perrier or volvic....

But finally she had just completly mis under stood and thought having a septic tank with fan soak away means you pour raw sewage out into the fields.

Still there was one piece of real comedy, I can evidence washing the windows I said.

Switched to you tube and there on film is no one son washing the windows with a green goddess fire engine......

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