At the auction - for gods sake don't wave!!!

I have one weakness, well oK maybe I have a few but anyway one of my weaknesses is an inability to pass a "to the auction" sign.

I have to go and look, so anyway with the kids safely at school off she went with me to the auctions.

Before I moved down here it was a bit of a standing joke as I would come home with truck laden with military surplus. It might have been a joke but all the neighbours made sure they came to have a look at whatever it was that I had bought this time.

I remember the time I arrived home laden with furniture, not MFI tat but ex military tables in solid African mahogany. I was trying to unload the truck but it was not making the house. Management was selling it, faster than I could unload it, and the punters were lined up around the block!!

Today was nothing as exciting, a general sale with a few gems hidden. This is managements territory and so she was charged with spotting the bargains and waving the card.

Meanwhiles I got on with the lesser tasks. Not a bad day, a wetsuit for a whole pound, an Ewenny jug that the dealers missed for 15, a new fire basket for Brittany and a 2 pound bargain bucket of tools.

That is my real weakness, when something goes for a few pounds I will often stick my hand up just for the hell of it.

At a ministry sale I once bought ten vacuum cleaners for seven pounds. Turned out they were big nilfisk industrial things, that absolutely filled my cavalier and sent her into eyes rolled back despair. Things got worse when I gifted management one to use in our then B&B. What we didn't realise was that these were hundreds of pounds worth and soon the local B&B's were lining up to buy them for 50 pounds each.

Of course life has not been one continuous triumph. There was the time I bought an ex army land rover trailer because it was silly cheap money. One of my mates asked if I had actually looked at it first. I noted the gleam in his eye and felt a moment of concern. When he offered to take me too it I sensed there must be a problem. Sure enough this was not any trailer, this was a special trailer this one had fallen out of a Hercules at 5000 feet and landed in the path of a challenger tank. At least that's what it looked like.

When I borrowed a trailer to bring it home the news spread quickly and kind friends were soon calling to offer sympathy, and lean against the wall in helpless hysteria.

There are still people who remember that, mind you many of them are sitting at mahogany dining tables when they tell the tale.

But anyway, I digress, everything was going well, the lots were clicking away. Each auction is different and you have to respond on the day. Today there were some bargains to be had some modern stuff went for absolutely mad money.

Then up came this wonderful dresser, 1800's maybe a really nice item that would sit wonderfully in our new house if we ever get there. Started at 500 pounds then worked it's way briskly to 1000 pounds. The bidding was lively I turned to say to her, then noticed who was bidding briskly. I suspect I went a little bit white, certainly I needed to sit down soon. So I did, it went eventually for a very cheap 1500 pounds but goodness was I relieved when I discovered it wasn't our 1500 pounds....

R