As well as my own children I have "inherited" another two from the students previous relationship.
Serenity and Perfecto which, incidentally are not their real names have generated a certain amount of frustrated exasperation over the years, when I was writing elsewhere mention that I was about to relate some anecdote about those two people would very often stop everything as they knew it was going to be a funny tale.
Of course there is a danger, you see mum often reads what step dad writes and also over the years a certain amount of friction has been generated by my views. Right up to and including invitations to go and sleep in the car. It is the truth you can criticise your own kids, the foster kids can be dealt with by ba simple trip to the district team with suitcases of all their wordlies in the car. Suggest a step child is a little out of line and a major diplomatic incident is potentially in store.
Anyway Perfecto has never figured too much in this narrative but today he has generated a certain amount of stress. I would immediately say it's not his fault, the first idiot and goodness he is in his own league of idiocy is the prime minister David Cameron. You might wonder how Cameron successfully spoilt my day and the truth is thus. A little while ago he decided that those who have to live on under 60 pounds a week because they won't take the jobs that don't exist anyway, have a life which is two easy. So he decided to toughen up by refusing to pay rent for them to have a flat, in future they would have a room.
So Perfecto had to downsize which meant clearing out his flat. Fortunately, there was never a suggestion I would have to do that. There was however a need to remove the students settee and chair she had leant perfecto, having a deal of experience of removing and on a tidal wave of innocence I set about the job.
Now of course it's not Perfectos fault his flat has a landlord. After Perfecto moved in landlord had bricked up one of the doors to the flat and decided to install a fire door in a corridor. None of this was his fault but it didn't get the settee out of the flat. First obstacle the kitchen door, which of course opened into the kitchen and thus involved getting the settee out whilst keeping it above the kitchen units which of course perfecto had cleared of objects because he's good at planning things like that.
Did i mention the need to swing the settee through 90 degrees as it came through the door?
The normal way of doing this is standing the thing on it's which won't happen if there is a load of kitchen units in the way.
Settees tend to be about 5 foot long, corridors about 3 foot wide, doors not much wider.
You might be ahead of me now. This was mission impossible but some how we achieved something that was simply impossible.
Of course miraculous is another thing. no matter what we did that settee was not going through the fire door. So the door was on the outside and I was on the inside, Branwen was on the outside and it took a little while to register that this meant it was her who needed to get tools and do something about making outside bigger.
A whip round of the tools in store really made me wish I had brought the Green Goddess - would have been out of there in a jiffy. The downside would have been a mess of smashed wood and masonry, plan B then. Phone Phil the builder who turned up in a few minutes, by which time Branwen was well into the task of removing half the frame. Power tools make it so much quicker and soon he had removed the fire door in it's totality and let us out.
Then it was a simple matter of getting the settee into the van, it's not Perfectos fault the van isn't really a van it's a camper. So the bed had to be flat with the settee half way out the back door whilst someone put the seat on top of it, upside down, then shoved the ensemble into the van.
Fortunately, when I got home, Bethan and Harley were still here so I left getting it into the house to them.
All I had to do was make sure all the paperwork for the various students grants were in on time - as in today.
Not a big call then
R
Serenity and Perfecto which, incidentally are not their real names have generated a certain amount of frustrated exasperation over the years, when I was writing elsewhere mention that I was about to relate some anecdote about those two people would very often stop everything as they knew it was going to be a funny tale.
Of course there is a danger, you see mum often reads what step dad writes and also over the years a certain amount of friction has been generated by my views. Right up to and including invitations to go and sleep in the car. It is the truth you can criticise your own kids, the foster kids can be dealt with by ba simple trip to the district team with suitcases of all their wordlies in the car. Suggest a step child is a little out of line and a major diplomatic incident is potentially in store.
Anyway Perfecto has never figured too much in this narrative but today he has generated a certain amount of stress. I would immediately say it's not his fault, the first idiot and goodness he is in his own league of idiocy is the prime minister David Cameron. You might wonder how Cameron successfully spoilt my day and the truth is thus. A little while ago he decided that those who have to live on under 60 pounds a week because they won't take the jobs that don't exist anyway, have a life which is two easy. So he decided to toughen up by refusing to pay rent for them to have a flat, in future they would have a room.
So Perfecto had to downsize which meant clearing out his flat. Fortunately, there was never a suggestion I would have to do that. There was however a need to remove the students settee and chair she had leant perfecto, having a deal of experience of removing and on a tidal wave of innocence I set about the job.
Now of course it's not Perfectos fault his flat has a landlord. After Perfecto moved in landlord had bricked up one of the doors to the flat and decided to install a fire door in a corridor. None of this was his fault but it didn't get the settee out of the flat. First obstacle the kitchen door, which of course opened into the kitchen and thus involved getting the settee out whilst keeping it above the kitchen units which of course perfecto had cleared of objects because he's good at planning things like that.
Did i mention the need to swing the settee through 90 degrees as it came through the door?
The normal way of doing this is standing the thing on it's which won't happen if there is a load of kitchen units in the way.
Settees tend to be about 5 foot long, corridors about 3 foot wide, doors not much wider.
You might be ahead of me now. This was mission impossible but some how we achieved something that was simply impossible.
Of course miraculous is another thing. no matter what we did that settee was not going through the fire door. So the door was on the outside and I was on the inside, Branwen was on the outside and it took a little while to register that this meant it was her who needed to get tools and do something about making outside bigger.
A whip round of the tools in store really made me wish I had brought the Green Goddess - would have been out of there in a jiffy. The downside would have been a mess of smashed wood and masonry, plan B then. Phone Phil the builder who turned up in a few minutes, by which time Branwen was well into the task of removing half the frame. Power tools make it so much quicker and soon he had removed the fire door in it's totality and let us out.
Then it was a simple matter of getting the settee into the van, it's not Perfectos fault the van isn't really a van it's a camper. So the bed had to be flat with the settee half way out the back door whilst someone put the seat on top of it, upside down, then shoved the ensemble into the van.
Fortunately, when I got home, Bethan and Harley were still here so I left getting it into the house to them.
All I had to do was make sure all the paperwork for the various students grants were in on time - as in today.
Not a big call then
R
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