AUctions......

When she goes to auctions, Management is a big buyer of cardboard boxes.

The sort of things that you get at a general auction, a box full of odd things typically going for a quid.

She spent 3 pounds yesterday and came home with some bizarre items but also useful things like baskets that you would easily have parted with a fiver to own.

Tucked in one box, carefully wrapped in paper were 20 chandelier crystals. They are lovely and worth a quid on their own.

Add in a proper Sony Walkman - a metal one not plastic and a proper Sony diskman with speakers and phones, you are getting towards your moneys worth, the phrase bargain might be used also.

But occasionally just occasionally you get something else.

I think the fact the thing was brand new in it's box should have been a warning to all.

A gadgety thing, a clock that projects the time on to the wall. How cool was that in a naff sort of way?

But why had someone bought this then left it in it's box.

I found batteries and set it up.

I should have taken further warning when I realized it was an alarm and one that has a choice of 15 alarm tones each one more Del Boy than the last including such delights as an electronic happy birthday and William Tell.

The instructions mentioned lots of things but no instructions as to how to turn it off.

I discovered the design flaw at 7 am this morning when the dulcet electronic rendition of "this year I am off to sunny Spain" rent the air. I was able to switch the alarm tones round but nothing short of a lump hammer was going to shut the bloody thing up.

There is only one thing to do with such an item, sneak it into Branwen's bedroom and hide it under the bed.

I think it can go back in it's wrapping back in a cardboard box and, with other bizarre items we can offer it as a lot in the next auction.

R