Wednesday 9 November 2011

Plague house

You can never really predict when life is going to turn all interesting. Gwion has been a bit out of sorts for a few days and yesterday the student had a decent look at him and pronounced it was measles. This is a very contagious disease and as such is "notifiable" under public health law.

This morning bright and early the student phoned our GP surgery and told a bored receptionist that we thought we had a case of measles here. Noting her disinterest I then went on to phone the school and break the good news on the absence hot line which is of course an answerphone.

All went quiet and we got on with our day, then at about 4 this afternoon the deputy head came on the phone sounding grave and concerned. Was it right that we had a case of measles she asked, yes, we said. Who had diagnosed this she asked, we had we said. Ah but had someone who was qualified made the diagnosis, we were hardly going to take him into a doctors surgery full of people while he was contagious we said. Yes but a doctor had to make the diagnosis, so he had to be "seen". This was all a bit silly mused the student,

I phoned the surgery back and got a brighter receptionist. She was a bit alarmed that we had phoned in the morning and no one had done anything. But we had the "who says he has measles?" conversation and she said a doctor would call soon. Soon was the right word and soon the student was locked in social intercourse with one of our highly efficient GP's who comes originally from Germany. Things did not start well, why had he not been immunised she demanded. When he was young Gwion had his first immunisation and experienced such a reaction that we decided against any more. This did not please the good doctor who started tutting only to have the student cut across her to say immunisation is not compulsory and anyway the real issue here was a failure to respond to the call at 8.30 am. This back footed the doctor nicely she said she was going to find who had taken the call and failed to act, in the kind of tone of voice that suggested that particular conversation might end in a gunshot and the thud of a body hitting the floor.

Why did the student think he had measles, how could she possibly be qualified to tell. The student replied fairly calmly that she was in her 50's and that when she was young measles was common and everyone knew how to recognise it, she rattled off a list of signs and symptoms without actually suggesting she had probably seen more measles than a doctor in her 20's who had been raised in a time when immunisation was the norm. Someone "expert" needed to make a diagnosis said the good doctor. The student suggested it might not be a brilliant idea to bring him into the surgery while he was contagious, it became very clear that doctor was not disturbing her day by getting into her car either.

What could she do for us? She asked; nothing said the student, we knew how to treat measles. We were phoning her to help her do her job, we did not need her help at all.  This did not go down at all well.

Doctor got all stern and Germanic

There would need to be a report to public health said the good doctor, that's why she phoned at 08.30 replied the student. This produced more harrumphing at the other end, maybe it wouldn't be a single gunshot any more - a burst of machine gun fire perhaps.

The doctor said Public Health would be in touch, I am not sure what this means, maybe they will paint a red cross at the top of the drive, lock us in and come round once a day so we can "bring out our dead" - I will keep you posted

R

1 comment:

gz said...

probably means a letter and a form to fill in- I had one when food poisoning was diagnosed