Saturday 23 March 2013

Not getting it

When you are a foster carer you are locked in a day to day routine of schools children social workers and meetings. Despite this you do need to have an objective ahead. A where we need to be in 5 years time.

Now the objective with looked after kids is that they will at some stage want to move on.

Young P got to about 13 his mum was well enough and he went home, by all accounts he is doing OK.

Bethan my own daughter, went through a bit of a patch but sorted herself out in the end.

Big D is aware of the need to move on but he is pretty determined he is not going anywhere near there for as long as possible. He looked over the wall and didn't like what he saw.

Little D on the other hand is well on the way to moving out. The grand plan is still the flat in town. Despite a bit of a housing shortage the place sits there unnlet and unwanted. Sooo asked the student in the car how was this all going to work. What did she mean, who was paying for what and how. Everyone would be chipping in their rent each week. That was good, how much was the deposit? No idea Where was it coming from? No idea. Was the place furnished, did it have a cooker and a washing machine? No idea. How would he cope if it did not, no idea. Was the place furnished at all? What if there was no bed. D already had a bed, No D slept in our bed on our mattress using our bedding, what if the flat had none of these? He had a television and a PS3 he said. And??? Was he planning to sleep on those?

Would it not be an idea to look at some of these issues if he intended to be living there in a few months?

Had he really thought this through? This was a private landlord, he was moving in with a group with a bit of a reputation. What if 6 months down the line there had been one party too many, one thing broken too  much and he got thrown out.      

What he would be offered would be a hostel, which would mean sharing, maybe with drunk people, maybe with violent people maybe with people who were mentally ill. A scary place.

I really had to sit and think - why is none of this touching him, does none of it enter his world.

I wonder if he has had too much done for him. From the earliest age for the LAC there is the foster carer with a duty of care, the social worker to sort out the problem with contact. I wonder if in the mess of "you have rights" stuff he actually get so used to being done for he never acquired the skill to do.

I am going to pull back from that point, a good few of our LAC have gone on to take control of their life. Little D seems stuck at a point where if he doesn't do it for long enough he thinks someone will step in.

A dangerous strategy.


  

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