Forgive me for seeming knowledgeable, self confident perhaps even arrogant but I sort of thought I had nailed this parenting thing and knew what it was all about.
It would seem I was mistaken.
The babies though have extended my education
Lets take your day to day stroll through the supermarket.
Misplaced in the aisle marked "cereal" you may well find Weetabix, far from being a food, this is actually, probably the strongest adhesive ever invented.
Similarly, you might find butter not with the putty, or the grease or the body paint but somewhere where it's suggested you might eat it (that's also possible, but only in large lumps obviously) it can also be fed to the dog as an astonishingly effective canine laxative.
Flora, or margarine totally belongs in the paint section.
Tomato sauce is a hair treatment, make up and clothes dye to rival everything, well apart from chocolate. Actually chocolate does all of the things listed above at least as well.
Then there are nappies, they should really go under artists materials, serving rather too well as a palette where "artistic materials" are stored till they are needed as, adhesive, putty or paint. With the added advantage that there is no need to raid the kitchen, to get the necessary resources, these replenish themselves periodically with no need to give tadcu the slip to get to the kitchen.
This . of course brings us to the final educational point, people of my age will have studied the theory of relativity at school. Einstein the genius postulated that time is not a universal, rather it passes at different rates dependent on the position and velocity of the observer. A nanosecond is an impossible short interval, now relativity gives us the nanysecond, this shows how time really is relative, this is that minute moment of time while tadcu blinks after getting both boys suited and booted immaculate to go out, for James to get the Flora (1 litre catering pack) out of the fridge and paint the kitchen, himself, the dog and the cat, hmmm, add effective animal laxative to Flora's uses...
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