Le Patron and his henchman were taking us to the VW dealer, for the money, I had assumed a recovery truck or maybe a suspended tow going to happen. Silly mistake, a small peugeot van and a bit of rope arrived. Fortunately, the trip was short, otherwise the terror,knowing that there was no power assistance on the steering or brakes, might have caused a bathroom moment.
So by the time we got to the VW agent we were looking a little wild and windswept. Hardly the sorts you might have wanted at a very posh upmarket mainly Audi dealership. Their service manager was immaculate and consummately professional, looking disdainfully at Newton the transporter he regretted that none of his technicians (no mechanics here) would be able to look at the vehicle that day but they "might" have a slot on Monday. A "might" Monday had all the utility of a chocolate fireguard so, with the going getting tough, the tough had to get going.
We had, in reality explored a number of contingency plans in the event of us being unable to repair the van. These had included things like herself taking the TGV, abandoning me in the South of France to sort the situation or hiring a car and running for the coast. The idea of traveling the length of France alone appealed to the management not one little bit so option b won out. With a lift provided from Audi Hilton (presumably to get us off the premises) we were soon at the airport where all the car hire people lived. Next a comparative trip from company to company to determine which was offering the best deal. Cheapest was Budget who offered an amazing deal but could not offer us a car, not much use then. A major issue was the distance we wished to cover, taking a car to Roscoff and leaving it there. Most companies included 250km a day, we were proposing 1000 over 2 days. It turned out Avis would do us a package deal with unlimited mileage, that made them the next cheapest they also had a Clio available (which is almost a car) so the deal was done. A set fee, unlimited mileage, away we went heading to the North coast.
First of course it was back to empty Newton the van. I had, at the back of my mind a bad feeling that I might end up abandoning the van altogether, that it might just be impossible to get the it back. Everything we could remove from the T4 came out. The little Clio was filled, out onto the peyage and away we went. It was mid morning and we set out to make our little house in Brittany by night fall.
This was my first time driving a left hand drive car on the right. Something which would ideally be approached as a little try out run when you are fresh and refreshed. So a 1000 km run with a driver already running on empty, ending in a night drive along narrow lanes was less than ideal. Time has drawn a merciful veil over this trip, but it was with a certain amount of relief that we rolled up outside our little Breton house, opened the doors lit the fire and put the water heater on so we could have a piping hot shower to wash away a couple of days accumulated grime. Surprisingly we woke late next day and had a positively leisurely day.
Setting off mid afternoon for Morlaix to drop the car and catch the train to Roscoff. A hotel in town booked on the recommendation of the lovely staff in the ferry terminal who helped us reschedule our crossing and reserve a cabin. A pleasant evening in Roscoff, some nice beers, being in Brittany we went for a Vietnamese meal, then a quick early morning walk the ferry terminal. A choppy ferry trip home then a lift from Plymouth to Penole from my youngest daughter. Home and time to reflect on the errors of the last fortnight and decide where to go from here.
Leaving the van in a VW main agent could well have been a recipe for a huge bill. Actually, the fault on the van was not serious and a competent mechanic could have sorted it in a few hours. So even at VW rates it should not have been silly money. This of course assumed someone was about to get some spanners out. Days turned to weeks and still nothing from the VW agent. A contact in France agreed to mediate, being more likely to get sense out of the garage. Repeated phone calls produced a whole variety of explanations. None of which made sense.
While all this was going on, there came a surprise, a huge additional bill from Avis. Had I not returned the car or something?? No, Avis, despite having said otherwise had hit us with a huge bill for mileage. First step try to reverse the payment, the bank said no. Next step complain. This is obviously a standing scam for Avis, they had a slick set of prepared emails which ended up with one that included the "contract" we had signed at the car hire place. This contract was in English, unlike the one I had a copy of, it also didn't have a signature on it!! Requests for copies of the signed contract fell on deaf years. This is obviously a company to steer clear of, or to hire a car off then cancel all transactions the moment the car has left their garage. All in all we got stiffed over by Avis for several hundred pounds, a salutary warning.
While this was all going on, the very future of the van itself was being decided. In many ways it would have been simpler to just walk away, who takes the simplest course every time? With no assistance from the insurance company (complaints procedure ongoing) VW agency busy doing precisely not a lot, and the clock ticking on it was time to look at options. Getting a haulier to remove the truck back to the UK was an option (an expensive option). Repairs in the VW garage were looking less and less likely. There is of course a back story here, the problem with the VW was a failure in the tensioner pulley for the fuel pump drive. It needed a new pulley which would then allow you to set the timing on the fuel pump and the engine would run. Hey ho, a couple of hours work tops. Now, pretty much everyone gets their pulleys made by a big American firm, Gates. So there is someone paid to walk down the production line sticking pulleys in a box with VW written on it. Yet more go out in boxes with Gates written on them. Now, it had come to pass, some months previously that VW had sold the last of their pulleys in boxes with VW written on them and had yet to get round to ordering some more. A VW main agent is not allowed to open boxes with "Gates" written on it, everything they fit must come from a box with "VW" written on it. Anyone who popped their head under Newton's bonnet would immediately spot the problem, causing me to suspect that the myriad tales explaining why the VW garage had done nothing owed a lot to not being able to get the part.
So, it was time to do some serious thinking, by this stage Xmas had been and gone, it was a new year and February was the month. Heading to Merthyr I cadged a lift in a mates VW van which was loaded with tools and spares. Portsmouth was the destination and, at 9 PM one Sunday evening we came ashore in Ouistrheim near Caen. 9 AM next morning, VW Carcasonne opened it's doors and we were there. Out the back, exactly where I had left it stood Newton the T4. Bonnet open and Gerwyn was soon waving spanners at the world. Meanwhile I was inside discussing things with Mr Supersuit the garage manager. He was quite happy for me to take the vehicle, but there was the small matter of a parking fee, 40€ a week parking fee. I responded that, the reason the vehicle was in his parking lot exactly where I had left it owed it's all to inaction on his part and that I was not parting with a bean for parking, but I might charge him vehicle hire. More jolly discussions, supersuit relented, we could have the van with no bill to pay.
Dragging Gerwyn from under the bonnet I suggested we get off the premises before Supersuit changed his mind. Parked on the street outside, a whole 25 minutes spanner waving time later, see if it would start, said Gerwyn, on the button it started. Gerwyn was all for taking it back to the garage to show them it was working, through the showroom window would be ideal... Resisting temptation we set off for Guemene with the chance of a decent nights sleep. Such optimism...
To be fair, the van ran like a rolex, the miles floated by and it was astonishingly frugal too. Something to do with Gerwyns preferred cruising speed being around 60 MPH. Still, the day passed tolerably and by night fall we were in Brittany. Of course if something is going to happen it will happen at night when you are cold, sure enough, we had come off the motorway to find fuel and, the van gave a little splutter then died.
When it comes to breaking down there are places and places. This was smack next to an itinerant camping place, they had clocked the van failing and were on to it like terriers on a rat. People started emerging from all over, the van would probably have been a bare bodyshell in half an hour. Never has a tow rope been attached so quickly, we were out of there in under 4 minutes. Fortunately, I had bought a device called a solo tow which allows you to tow a broken down car like it's a trailer. We stopped up the road an attached that in record time.
A late night nightmare drive up narrow lanes and we were at Guemene for some sleep. Morning dawned and time to investigate, bonnet up and, sure enough yet another tensioner pulley had let go. This was getting tedious... Best get the vehicle back to Wales for serious investigations then. First off a tow up to St Malo, quicker and simpler than calling in the recovery firm. The van had already been booked on as a "large trailer" which was a lot cheaper than booking on as two vans, that's something to note for the future. A quick call was made to the RAC letting them know I would be on the early morning ferry. A quiet night, a decent meal, and a recovery truck waiting in the morning. Vehicle back in Wales and investigations could commence.
The overall issue came all the way back to the mechanic who originally changed the pump belt. For some reason he decided to fit the new camshaft without any oil seals. This had allowed oil to weep out of the cam and on to the nylon adjuster pulley which had broken up causing the problem. Might be an idea to check the rest of his work then. The cam belt was barely hanging on, the water pump,which he assured me was fine,was showing signs of leaking and failure. That was two things that would have potentially destroyed the whole engine. I had a lucky escape,time to take everything off and sort the whole job again from scratch.
I said early on, trying to save money is often a very expensive way of doing a job, how right I was.
Still at least, it's all done now, nearly a year has passed since we set off on that fateful holiday of a lifetime. We have already planned how to mark the anniversary, we are loading the van up, heading for the ferry and going to do it all again. Hopefully it will take less than a year to write that up.
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